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040214doirsami
09:07 GA: Doir knocks on Sami's door. "yo they came to a decision about the lands. you missed it." 09:08 AA: "Good for them." Her voice is muffled, as though she's talking into a pillow. 09:08 GA: "im uh. may i enter?" 09:08 AA: She gets up and lets Doir in. "Fine." Her voice is drained. 09:09 GA: He enters, closing the door behind himself. "wassup, dude? you ok?" 09:09 AA: "Oh, me? Yeah. Fine. Just spent the last two weeks working on team stuff only to get told to throw it all out. I could've spent that time hanging out with Beau or drawing or something, but nope." 09:10 GA: "nono, its fine. they agreed upon your teams like five seconds after you left. miloko really took control! she's a muse now, apparently." 09:11 AA: "Yeah, I know." She sighs. "Still, it's not even about the team layouts. I don't really care if Rilset moves to Team B or whatever. I'm upset because they've made it clear they don't trust me." 09:12 AA: "All I ever wanted was to give them direction, and now even without any real reason to object to the direction I'm sending them in, they're objecting just for the hell of it." 09:12 GA: "okk, so, i talked to them about it, and apparently its because alt!you is some kind of boogeyman to them? but they wont cross you anyway, even if begrudgingly." 09:13 AA: "No it's not, Doir. It's because I'm a murderer." 09:13 GA: "well, uh, like. shit, dude! what do you expect?" 09:13 AA: "And it doesn't even really matter anymore anyway. Regardless of why they don't trust me, they don't trust me. What good am I to the team anymore anyway?" 09:13 AA: "Maybe I should just retire." 09:13 GA: "youre tons of good! even if you dont always get listened to, you know whats right!" 09:14 GA: "and sure, sometimes you make mistakes or get manipulated, but thats like, everyone gets that sometimes!" 09:14 AA: "Great. So I get to know we're all going to die before we do it because no one will listen to me." 09:14 GA: "no, no... miloko really got everyone to listen to you. they trust her, so they're more willing to trust your decisions." 09:15 AA: "Well get them to trust her decisions then." 09:15 GA: "but miloko trusts yours!" 09:15 GA: "and anyway, they all freakin hate me." 09:15 AA: "She *did*. Until she found out about Darmok." 09:15 GA: "no, she still trusts you!" 09:15 GA: "she understands, sami. she gets that shit's tough." 09:15 AA: "No one trusts me. And no one should." 09:16 GA: "oh my god first of all, me? second of all, yes." 09:16 AA: "I'm just a burden." 09:16 GA: "no shut your mouth you stupid buttface dumb." 09:16 GA: "youre not a burden." 09:16 AA: "Oh? You think there's much use for a teammate who you don't even trust not to stab you in the back?" 09:17 GA: "yeah? who the fuck ever trusted me ever?" 09:17 GA: "yall kept me around." 09:17 AA: "I trusted you not to stab me in the back, at least." 09:17 AA: "And I'm pretty sure everyone else did, too." 09:18 GA: He scratches his head. "did you? did they? 'cause at the very least, complete hatred and utter contempt for me was in all of you." 09:18 GA: "remember that one time you got offended cause i had higher lore than you?" 09:18 AA: "I never hated you. And the only time I had contempt for you was when you were doing that 'no one matters, they're all just game characters' thing." 09:20 GA: "well, t... uh... yeah, i mean, i did do that. lilys doing it to! must be hereditary." 09:20 GA: "in a different way though. its not so much about characters for her as it is plot." 09:20 AA: "And yeah, I was a little annoyed to find out that you had higher Lore than me. Because I always thought you and I were on the same level, brains-wise." 09:21 GA: "did you just not see the whole 'mad scientist' thing i had going on originally?" 09:21 AA: "No." 09:22 GA: "oh. well, i did. and also i was really rich. and payed attention in school. well, didnt pay attention. i goofed around in school and then studied when i got home so that i could ace every test and piss everyone off at how uncharacteristically smart i was." 09:23 AA: "So then you intentionally cultivated a 'book dumb' persona, and then got mad when I fell for it?" 09:23 GA: "...no, not intentionally. im just going along with it." 09:24 GA: "everyone seems to THINK it, so i might as well roll with the punches and throw a few of my own?" 09:24 AA: "Either way. No one thought you were an active danger to their survival." 09:25 AA: "And you can't tell me Lily wouldn't be happier if I were dead, or got exiled to the Furthest Ring or something." 09:25 GA: "no, she *wouldnt* be happier. maybe short term, but she'd feel the void left in your absense." 09:26 AA: "At any rate, I'm useless here." 09:26 AA: "I'm on the Reserve Team, and originally I had intended to use that as a chance to try to help direct things from here." 09:26 GA: "so, what, you just gonna mope and give up?" 09:26 AA: "But they're not going to listen to anything I have to say anyway." 09:26 GA: "yeah, not with that attitude" 09:27 AA: "Well what am I supposed to do, Doir?!" 09:27 AA: "How am I supposed to get their forgiveness when I don't even think I deserve to be forgiven?" 09:28 GA: "keep fighting to your last breath! dont let them get the best of you! if you really want to be useful and trusted, you have to keep going even when shit gets real! otherwise, you're just dropping out when the going gets tough, which any old fucker can do!" 09:28 GA: "but only the true heroes can push through and become the best leaders!!" 09:28 AA: "I'm not a hero." 09:29 GA: "again, by definition..." 09:29 GA: "at the very least, an antihero now." 09:29 AA: "If I died right now we both know that it would be Just, not Heroic." 09:29 GA: "i doubt that." 09:29 GA: "i wouldnt be standing here lecturing you on how much good you are if i didnt think you were heroic as fuck, sami." 09:30 AA: "I've been trying, Doir. And I thought they were listening." 09:30 GA: "they are! you just have to keep going! if you skimp now, they're just going to see you as weak!" 09:31 GA: "i keep up a very consistant level of inconsistancy because i have a reputation to uphold, damnit. if i flake on my flakiness, id just be like any other dead loser. you have a duty too, if you don't want to end up like the rest of the dead." 09:32 AA: "I have a duty to do what's best for the team. But right now I'm having a hard time understanding how 'what's best for the team' isn't 'not having to worry about Sami anymore.'" 09:33 GA: "but you know whats best for the team! if you stop now, lives could be lost later!" 09:33 GA: "more lives than would be otherwise!" 09:34 AA: "Do I?!" Sami snaps. "Do I know what's best for the Team Doir? What right decisions have I made in the last....oh, let's say six years?" 09:34 AA: "Acenia said it herself--even if you could trust me to not murder you, which you can't, you can't trust me not to be manipulated by anyone who so much as talks to me." 09:35 AA: "And even if by some miracle I actually *did* know what was right here this time, what would it matter? How would I get anyone to go along with it?" 09:36 GA: "shut up, shut up, shut up shut up shutupshutup. shut up. shhshuhsuhhshhsh. sh." 09:37 GA: Doir puts a finger on Sami's lips. "shshshsh." 09:37 AA: Sami glares at him angrily. 09:37 GA: "SHUT YOUR EYEMOUTHS WITH THEIR LOOKS." 09:39 GA: "IF YOU DONT WANNA DO YOUR STUPID DUMB STUPIDFACE DUMB LEADING THING, THEN I GUESS JUST POUT." 09:39 GA: "BUT IM GONNA GO DO IMPORTANT THINGS TO KEEP THE STUPID DUMB KIDS FROM DUMB DYING LIKE STUPID DUMB IDIOTS." 09:39 AA: "What important things, Doir?" 09:39 AA: "I'm seriously asking here." 09:40 AA: "Because I don't know what I'm supposed to do." 09:40 GA: "NOBODY EVER KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING! SPOILER ALERT, WE'RE ALL JUST WINGIN IT." 09:40 GA: "IVE WINGINGED IT MY WHOLE LIFE AND IM STILL ALIVE!" 09:40 AA: "So your advice to me then is 'stop winging it and start winging it.'" 09:41 GA: "shushuhthushtshh. no. im not saying that." 09:41 GA: "im at the very least gonna KEEP TRYIN. wh. WHATEVER IT IS, that im doing." 09:42 AA: "Well they're all welcome to continue talking to me if they want." 09:42 AA: "But I don't see much point in me continuing to try to lead them." 09:42 AA: "And I don't see why anyone would want to seek me out." 09:42 GA: "oh my god i *just* seeked you out." 09:42 AA: "I meant the kids." 09:43 GA: "i bet theyre all gonna seeked you out too!" 09:43 AA: "Yeah, sure. They discard my suggestions just because I made them, then they're going to come seek new advice to discard because I made it." 09:44 GA: "no, theyre not! they just didnt think they wanted that advice at first, before. now they know that they wanted it!" 09:45 AA: "Do you know what the worst part about ALL of this is, Doir?" 09:45 AA: "This shit right here? This 'knowing the right thing to do but no one listening to you when you tell them?'" 09:45 AA: She bites her lip, then in a flat voice says "That's the same shit Meouet used to say about Team Justice." 09:46 GA: "and most of those people died! oh shit, most of the kids are going to die." 09:47 GA: "but, like, hey, you're not a complete cassandra. i believe you! and so does miloko!" 09:48 AA: "And I believed Meouet." 09:49 AA: "And look where she ended up." 09:49 AA: "And look where Team Justice ended up." 09:49 GA: "soooo try not to make the same mistakes as her!" 09:50 GA: "meouet was too distant! she was too 'this is for their own good and im not going to tell them why thus causing an unnecessary rift between us'-y!" 09:51 GA: "and she was secretly evil! or jack is impersonating her and being evil!" 09:52 AA: "I've killed three of my teammates, Doir and I conspire with the Horrorterrors. I'm not even *secretly* evil." 09:52 GA: "three?" 09:53 GA: "also, 'evil' isnt even real." 09:53 AA: "Yeah, Thiago, Ryspor, and Seriad." 09:53 GA: "ok but seriad was like tiktokked tho" 09:55 GA: "and thiago was going to abuse his powers, and ryspor... was going to kill me? and you didnt even kill him." 09:55 AA: Sami shrugs. "Yeah, but from an outsider perspective?" 09:55 AA: "Also, what's up with Libby having Thiago in a dreambubble and interrogating him?" 09:55 AA: "And apparently shenanicite can be used to revive the dead?" 09:56 GA: "shrug?" 09:56 AA: "Why have we been wasting it on any other form of cheating?!" 09:56 GA: "i only ever got the one for my mind up." 09:57 GA: "but we seriously should have taken it from the kids who went on jacks team as punishment and used it to revive them incase of death." 09:57 GA: "though i think the life players might be able to revive people anyway?" 09:58 AA: "What right do we have to punish them, Doir?" 09:58 AA: "We're not REALLY their parents. I mean we are, but we didn't raise them." 09:58 GA: "they worked with jack! which, granted, my condemntaion of him as evil goes against my previous statement of 'evil' not being a real thing, but" 09:59 GA: *condemnation 09:59 AA: He is a danger to us personally, yes. 09:59 AA: Which includes the kids. 09:59 AA: Regardless of good or evil, he is our, and their, enemy. 09:59 AA: Whether they realize it or not. 09:59 AA: But nevertheless, what position are we in to punish them? 09:59 AA: They don't recognize our authority. 09:59 GA: "i didnt mean it as punishment, though. i meant as a backup plan, and so that they wouldnt just waste it like dumbasses as they did." 10:01 AA: "Well what is even our authority to do that?" 10:02 AA: "They don't recognize our authority and they don't trust us to make suggestions." 10:02 GA: "i dunno. we're like, the shell-shocked veterans who know how to use shit." 10:02 GA: "and they... well, yeah, they don't. but if we befriended them more, they might have respect for us as peers." 10:02 AA: "I don't know what else I can do to befriend them, Doir." 10:03 AA: "I'm never going to be anything but the token evil teammate to them." 10:03 GA: "just keep trying. they'll see that we just want what's best for them... we just cant give up on the cause." 10:04 GA: "you dont even have to keep at the leader thing, just stay in touch with them and apologize and try to prove yourself." 10:04 AA: "Fine. But I'm not drawing up any more goddamned plans for them if they're just going to throw them in my face." 10:04 GA: "ok. ill try to make plans, then." 10:04 AA: "Yeah, sure, I'm sure that will go over well." 10:04 AA: "Have fun with that." 10:05 GA: Doir looks genuinely hurt. 10:05 GA: "but... i can make plans too..." 10:05 AA: "Yeah, and they'll throw them in your face just like they did mine because they don't trust us." 10:05 AA: "And as near as I can tell, they don't like being lead." 10:06 AA: "They're teenagers." 10:06 GA: "so are we! i dont want to lead them, i just want to help them." 10:06 GA: "theyre us, theyre our friends, some are our family." 10:07 AA: "Maybe they're your friends. But they've made it clear how they feel about me." 10:08 GA: "nobodys too far gone, sami." 10:08 AA: "What, even Jack?" 10:09 GA: "yeah, even jack. it'd take a hell of a lot to make it up, though." 10:09 AA: "Well I guess if there's hope for even Jack there's hope for me." Sami sounds defeated, and slumps down into her bed 10:11 GA: "hey... friend, dont... um." Doir awkwardly pats her shoulder. "yes." 10:14 AA: "They need a leader so bad, Doir." 10:14 AA: "And I think I may have been their only chance. And I blew it." 10:14 GA: "do... you want me to, do it, should i do it?" 10:15 AA: "If you want to try, you can try. I don't know if you're consistent enough to be the leader they need, but given how god damned flighty the rest of them are, maybe that'll at least make you the leader they want." 10:16 GA: "im the leader the base deserves, and also needs right now." 10:16 GA: Doir stands stoically. "hooplah." 10:18 AA: "Good luck then." 10:19 GA: "no, this is silly and utterly pointless. ill forget in five minutes." 10:19 GA: "lets just save ourselves the time and skip it." 10:19 AA: "Whatever. I'm too tired to fight you either way, Doir." 10:19 AA: "This game, and these people, are sucking the life out of me." 10:20 GA: "iiiii. didnt give up. and now i won." 10:20 GA: "i think you need a hug." 10:20 AA: "Probably. But I probably need a lot more than that." 10:21 GA: "two hugs. best friend crying mess hugs." 10:21 AA: "I'm not crying, Doir." Her voice is flat. 10:21 GA: "WELL WHOS FAULT IS THAT" 10:22 AA: "I don't really know how to respond to that question." 10:22 GA: "you ruined it you get only one hug" 10:22 AA: "So did you guys talk at all about what to do about Maenam?" 10:22 GA: "oh. no." 10:23 AA: Sami growls a little. "This sort of shit is when having a leader would be helpful." 10:23 GA: "we just talked about lands. while getting really sidetracked. puce is going to sorsers, chartreuse is going to milokos." 10:23 GA: "well it wasnt on my agenda!" 10:23 AA: "Puce? Chartreuse?" 10:23 GA: "team a and team b names." 10:23 AA: "Did you just choose like....the worst colors you could think of?" 10:24 GA: "no, that colorblind fish did. its hilarious." 10:25 AA: "Maenam showed up?" 10:25 GA: "no the merrow guy" 10:25 GA: "girl?" 10:25 AA: "Oh god. It's genetic?" 10:25 GA: "still not sure" 10:26 GA: "yeah, we're going by fiction genetics rules here. running gags are built in." 10:27 AA: "Whatever. They can call themselves what they want." 10:28 AA: "God, I hope if I ever end up on a team, I'm on Puce. Chartreuse is just....ughh." She shudders. 10:28 GA: "im on chartruse." 10:29 GA: "'spretty bad." 10:30 AA: "Well, keep me informed of how things go. I guess I'll cross my fingers for you. It's the only thing I'm really good for anymore." 10:31 GA: "ok. you just stay here and rest. youre pretty stressed out. dont worry about things too much, ill... try my best, for whatever its worth." 10:33 AA: "Okay, later. Good luck on whatever world you chose." 10:34 GA: "milokos!... take care, polar bear." Doir walks to the door, and quietly leaves. Category:Sami Category:Doir